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systemcritical2015-03-27 12:23 am
sfoils) wrote in systemcritical2015-03-27 12:23 am
Entry tags:
(closed) we do the impossible
CHARACTERS βΆ Luke Skywalker & Wedge Antilles
LOCATION βΆ Shipyards
SUMMARY βΆ Luke and Wedge meet outside their Matrix for the first time
WARNINGS βΆ None
NOTES βΆ Gross feelings incoming
LOCATION βΆ Shipyards
SUMMARY βΆ Luke and Wedge meet outside their Matrix for the first time
WARNINGS βΆ None
NOTES βΆ Gross feelings incoming
The shipyards never sleep. And it's a good thing, too.
Wedge works under the belly of a hovercraft, cables spilling out of its insides like the viscera of a mechanical whale. Four ships lost means more work for mechanics, tighter, hastened schedules. Hovercrafts must be replaced. There can't be gaps in the Zion Defense Grid. Their lives depend on it.
There's grease tracks on Wedge's forehead, dark brown fringe gone coal black. By now all the mechanics stink of metal and sweat and oil. It's an unspoken agreement not to bring up each other's stench. Politicians get to stay clean. Mechanics and engineers and soldiers and people who get shit done don't.
His shift ended two hours ago. But Wedge doesn't want to leave. He'd rather work past his feelings than acknowledge them. He's just come off a successful tour, he's primed to become a captain. Yet it's a hollow victory.
The people he truly wishes to celebrate with are not here.
Sithspit. He misses them so, so much.
"I need a break." Wedge jumps off the platform, clocking out. Heart-aching, gut-wrenching melancholy isn't an excuse for frying delicate electrical and mechanical parts. Wedge refuses to be the guy that pushes them off schedule.
So to clear his mind, he takes a stroll.
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He's joined because being a rebel is in his blood, but, at the core of it all, because he has nothing better to do. To not have something to do would be the death of Wedge. Regardless of the morals and ethics of this world, Wedge doesn't want to be idle. Idleness invites thinking and right now, he doesn't want to think too much.
But he understands that his approach isn't Luke's. Luke needs to truly, wholeheartedly believe in something before he can throw his life at it. And, considering the losses he suffered, it'll take longer for Rogue Leader to return to his former glory. It isn't a criticism against Luke, just that Corellian pragmatism that's guided Wedge through so much of his life.
"You're welcome, Rogue Leader," he says, reciprocating the joke. The truth is that Wedge is just as lost as Luke, just in a different direction. But just because he doesn't have all the answer doesn't mean he can't help his friend figure out his. Wedge is, unlike Luke, rather secretive with his emotions. He doesn't expect Luke to help him with his wound while Luke's bleeding all over the floor. Someone can't pull you out of a hole they too are falling into.
And Luke's hole is much, much deeper.
This time, against his usual demeanor, Wedge wraps his arms around Luke, and hugs him tight. Luke smells clean, safe-clean, that astringent, sour note a days-long dip in bacta left behind. It was wrong. People shouldn't smell like this. "We'll get through it, Luke. They'll never stop us."
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Then Wedge says something that sparks a memory. They'll never stop us. Biggs used to say that to him. In fact, it was the last thing he told Luke beforeβ
Realization sweeps over him slowly; the realization that here in the Real, Biggs could still be alive. It's not likely and finding him unplugged is even less likely, but there's still that chance. That hope.
And then Luke tells himself that he really shouldn't be thinking about things that way. People don't just go unplugging people. At least... they've been told not to. But maybe that's wrong. Maybe they should.
Luke discovers that his face is dry now but as he regains awareness of Wedge holding onto him tightly, he begins to crumble again. This is all too much to think about and there's still so much that Luke doesn't know. His thoughts and emotions are everywhere and he's feeling things that are too strong to ignore... the possibility that Biggs may be alive somewhere being one of them. Years ago he'd felt especially strongly for Biggs and his death hit Luke harder than just about anything else in his life.
With his face tucked against Wedge's shoulder he takes in a shaky breath. "You probably shouldn't have said that."
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Big brother protecting his little brother. Which sounds cliche, something that Wedge avoids as much as possible, but it is the truth.
"I'm sorry." Against instinct, Wedge stops himself from pulling away. That's probably the worst thing he could do right this moment. He's not exactly sure why his words hit Luke as hard as they have. His brows furrow in confusion for a flash of a second, then settle back into impassivity.
"Do you want a glass of water? Or maybe I can go get you something to eat?" Something more flavorful than protein soup, for sure. People around owe him favors. Maybe calling in some to get some broth and bread would do Luke some good.
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It's going to come up again, he knows. Sooner or later, the hope that Biggs is still alive will claw at him until he can no longer ignore it. For now, though, he has to. There's nothing he can do about it anyway. Not immediately.
At the offer of food and water Luke shakes his head and pulls away from Wedge, just far enough so he can look at him. "No... no, that's alright. I just want to talk to you." In truth, he doesn't want Wedge to leave him right now, he's just afraid to say that out loud.
"I mean Iβ... I don't think our time in the Matrix was lined up." He's trying to figure out the nicest way to say 'you look old'.
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Wedge raises an eyebrow. "I didn't want to point out the bantha in the room, but yeah." Luke looks positively Endor-ish, which was around 4 years after Yavin. Wedge comes from 13 years after Yavin, which makes him... "I'm thirty-four, Luke."
"Or at least I was, until they pulled me out." Thirty-four, going on sixty. War ages people. Wedge feels much older than he really is. It's likely the same for Luke. "Last thing I remember is the mission to Adumar Cracken strong-armed me into. I was going to retire," he says with a sharp laugh, "But then of course a mission only General Antilles could do popped up."
"Eh, at least I got to take Tycho, Wes and Hobbie with me. Never a dull moment with the Rogues."
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"That means you've got almost ten years on me. Endor happened just before I was unplugged. I'll be turning twenty-three in a couple weeks, I think." It's tricky to keep track of time here, but Luke knows his birthday was only two months away the last time he was in the Matrix. It should be coming up soon.
Luke sits back a bit, setting his hands into his lap. "I'm almost afraid to ask what's happened in the last ten years."
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A decade. Sithspit, this will be awkward. Wedge will have to be careful not to divulge certain information that could hurt Luke. Absentmindedly, he wonders why this happened, and how it could've happened: in their Matrix, this particular problem is the stuff of spacer myths.
"You want me to hit the highlights?" Wedge shifts in place, settling for what could be a very long conversation.
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Thinking about all of the things that might have been, the things he could have experienced, the people he could have known, will only make him sad. That's not what he needs right now. They'll save it for another time when Luke is stronger.
As he pushes away those thoughts, Luke gets an eager glint in his eyes and he scoots forward slightly. "I want to know more about that pilot training program." It's clear that his mind is set on it, even if he might be forced to take a mechanic job for a while just to get his bearings.
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In retrospect, that wasn't an empathetic offer, but Wedge isn't known for his skills with emotions. Not these kind of emotions, at least. He's rather emotionally stunted, and that's something Luke knows for a fact.
Wedge smiles an easy, lazy grin. "I knew you'd ask about it," he teases. "Well, we just lost some ships, so we need captains more than ever." Job openings through death are never pleasant to talk about, but this is a familiar situation to career rebels like he and Luke. "It's simple, really: you sign up, they put you through a battery of physical and psychological tests, some sims, and then they'll let you know if you're in or not."
"I just came back from a test tour. I did pretty well, all things considered." He ruffles his hair, mulling over his words. "It was an emergency situation: a ship crashed outside the dock gates, reporting that other ships went missing. We found a single survivor."
"Aside from the usual problems with green recruits, my crew did pretty well."
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Luke's always been a very fast learner and his recovery has been very quick. He's never been one to gamble but he'd be willing to put down money on the bet that he could get captaincy well within six months if he really set his mind to it.
Getting his head out of this gloom first is a must, otherwise he won't be much of a leader, but there's no doubt in Luke's mind that he could do it.
Hearing Wedge talk about his test tour makes Luke smile sadly. He could almost pretend that Wedge is telling him all about a strafing run that he did with the rest of Rogue Squadron.
"It sounds like you're well on your way to gaining that position permanently," he says proudly. "Just remember to think of us little people, won't you?" Luke's been in such a high position of command for so long that it almost feels like a novelty to be back down at the bottom again. It's strange not having the authority, but there's something nice about being free of so much responsibility for a while.